now dont get me wrong, when i say all vegetarians i dont mean all vegetarians. the ones that are vegetarians because of religion or because or allergies (god that would suck to be allergic to meat) are excluded from this. Now vegetarians are full of bullshit. They dont eat meat to supposedly stop cruelty to animals. Thats bullshit, they dont give half a rats arse about the welfare of animals, they just want to be part of that shitfaced group and say things like “oh yea im such a good person because i dont eat animals”. They are as bad as, nay worse than, mac owners.

On the topic mac owners, there is a rant in the works about those bitches too.

Now let me point out some very common dipshit things that vegetarians do. But firstly its important to understand that these vegetarians i am talking about are vegetarians purely because they think eating meat is cruel to animals. Once again i state that i am not talking about those vegetarians that have legitimate reasons for being vegetarians, i have no beef with them.

1.  Lots of vegetarians happily wear leather.

Dipshits. Leather is made from cow hide. This cow hide probably came from the same cow that is in the hamburger im eating as you lecture about the immorality of eating meat. So dont give me shit about it unless you got that leather from an already dead cow, scraped it clean and cured (is that the right word?) yourself. Dipshit.

2. Lots of vegetarians happily wear wool based products.

This is also a dipshit thing to do. Yes the wool from that sheep or yak or some other animal probably isnt in this lamb chop im eating right now, but these animals are kept in equally shitty conditions as the lamb that im eating was kept in. Therefore youre a dipshit, stoping whining about cruelty to animals. Atleast the animals that i eat are put out of their misery, your animals are kept in the misery and continually harvested.

3. Lots of vegetarians eat fish.

Now this is BULLSHIT with a capital B, U, L, L, S, H, I and T! Fish are animals too dumbfucks. And dont use that excuse “oh but fish only have three second memories” because thats bullshit. Fish can be trained. TRAINED. This means that they have a memory longer than three seconds. And even if their memory was only three seconds, you have still killed an animal dipshit.

5. Lots of vegetarians consume dairy products.

DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW WE GET MILK FROM ANIMALS? We breed cows or goats or whatever animal milk you drink, then when the baby animal is born the mother animal’s tits become engorged with milk. Then what do we do? We take the baby animal away, feed it for a while, then we eventually kill it and sell it as veal or lamb or whatever. So effectively by having any sort of dairy products,  YOU ARE KILLING A BABY ANIMAL DIPSHIT!

6. Lots of vegetarians use synthetic products such as plastic, and use synthetic polymers in their clothing.

So by now some dipshit vegetarians will be like “Oh you suck joon i dont do any of those things that you have said!” But unless you like to live in a cave with no clothes what so ever, youre still a dipshit. You know why? Because all man made products “hurt” the environment. That plastic cup youre using? MADE FROM OIL BITCH, WHICH IS OBTAINED BY DESTROYING SOME PIECE OF LAND, probably in the middle east. Those synthetic fibers your clothes are made of? They are also made from oil dickhead. That car? Runs on fossil fuels. The electricity powering your computer as you read this like a whiny little prick? Made from burning fossil fuels.

Someone will no inevitably think “oh joon youre a shithead, my electricty comes from windturbines or solar power”. Well arent you a little dipshit. Guess how they erect wind turbines? By cutting down trees and in the process destroying animal habitats. Guess where those solar panels are located? On a piece of land that has been cleared. Dont kid yourself dickhead, the shitty solar panel on your roof can do little more than recharge my gameboy.

7. Lots of Vegetarians simply exist.

YES! The very fact that you exist means that you are killing animals. You take a shit, that shit goes (hopefully, but sometimes not) into a sewerage treatment facility and is them pumped either into the ocean or a river or something somewhere. This water is still full of harmful substances and full of nutrients which fuck up water systems regardless of where it is dumped.

You eat a crappy salad. That salad came from a farm, whether it be organic or not. The only way to be able to get land to be able to support crops? Till it. And what happens when you till land? All the adorable animals that live underground such as moles and bunnies and other shit like that, they all get crunched into wonderful (albeit unintended) fertilizer to grow your shitty vegetables.

You breathe. YES. The very act of breathing is also damaging the environment, which in turn harms some shitty animal out there. So you should just die. But wait, oh shit! If you die your shitty foul body will infect the soil with excess nutrients which will in turn eventually wash into waterways and kill fish that are sensitive to the nutrient levels in waters. If you get yourself cremated youre just burning some shit into the atmosphere which will probably make a bird choke to death somewhere.

So as you can see, if youre a vegetarian you are a piece of shit. And i wont even begin to go on about vegans, they are nothing but giant blubbering vaginas.

So in conclusion, if you happen to see a vegetarian that tells you that eating animals is wrong, just to spite them punch them in the face and when they are knocked out shove a small roast pig into their mouths. Or if not, just go out and shoot an animal.